Second semester get started !

I'm in the second semester now and also the last semester for this course.

There're two compulsory papers and two optional paper choose out of three choices. I have choose taxation and financial paper. Due to there're two variants for taxation. Parents and sista gave opinions on and encourage me to take UK variant but due to some of the reasons like scholarships and etc. I have to take Malaysia variant. Actually i'm having problem when i make this decision. :( I don't really know what to choose. However, at the end the UK class has been closed off because of insufficient of students.

This semester a bit difficult as i'm going to take four papers at once ! Also the optional papers are writing base and no long computer base. There're a lot of constrains in writing paper, especially taxation paper. Everything much follow sequences and technical terms. :( It's a tough semester thought. However i know those tougher semesters are coming. @@

GOD BLESS ME ! :(

Semester break !

Time flies. It comes to the end of december. I have done my intermediate level's papers last few weeks. After that, I have my 2 weeks of hustle and bustle semester break. I used up the first week for my camp activities and another week for my first trip with course mates to KL.

Firstly, lets talk about my camp. I glad that i have such a good experiences in the camp and i have met all those crazy buddies in the camp. We laughed, cried and lived together as a big family in the 4days 3 nights camp. I hope this friendship may last longer. The most unforgettable memories were the last day at the closing ceremony. I cried. I cried because I knew that my friend is going to UK for her further study and we are unable to go to camp anymore. Maybe only able to meet up once or twice a year. Besides, I feel so happy as i have done my part of job in the camp as a head of discipline. Also, when i saw all the members feel satisfied and I knew we have done a great job. The last one was because I may not able to participate in the camp for the coming year anymore due to may be busy for study. How sad. :'(

Secondly, after i came back from camp, i just rest for about 2 days and i was heading to KL with my classmates in college. Such a great experiences too. We traveled around by using buses, monorel, LRT and also by our own leg ! :D I have bought some cloths that are in promo in KL and the promos are hardly to be seen in Penang. :DD Actually i don't buy much like last year i went to KL with my high school mates, maybe due to the season of the fashion not really suit me. So mostly i bought a lot of simple tee in order for me to wear to college instead of keep repeating the same shirt every week.

That's all for my semester break. It was really short but I feel i have try my best to occupied it ! :D

情绪不稳定。

最近情绪不是很稳定。可能因为考试压力，家里的问题等等。

Nightmare.

Had nightmare last night. I dreamed things that I most unwanted to happen in reality. Sigh. I can't tell anyone, so i just bear it by myself. :'(

钱钱钱！

因为钱而崩溃。有点喘不过气。:(

MONEY !

Bankrupt soon. O.O

Too much of expenses recently. I have tried to reduce outing with friends, yet still so poor. :'((

Pocket money now really not enough for me to cover all things. I need to buy everything by myself. Need to pump petrol, buy personal things, stationary, miscellaneous and etc. However my pocket money among all my friends, i am the lowest and i need to afford most of the things. Besides, i cant really have part time job due to study. ARGHHHHH!!! When only i can not to worry about money? :((

失去

最终，我还是失去了一个很好的朋友。谢谢他曾经陪我走过的日子。

空白

一个人，跑步跑到脚被鞋磨损了还是继续的跑。头脑一片空白。

跑完了一个人静静地坐在游乐场，看着IPOD。眼泪不经意的流下。。。

眼泪流下意味着什么？不舍？还是愧疚？

一个人

如果可以平息一切，我不介意一个人去承受所有后果。我想我可以习惯一个人的生活。

我哭了。

很努力的去做一个他们心目中的乖孩子。可是，我失败了。。。

人往往不会记得你做过的好事，只记得零零碎碎地坏事。就一味的重复又重复你所做的坏事，可是却忘了那些你曾经所做的好事。我无奈，我无言，我。。。。哭了。

:x

只是想开开心心一家人去旅行都难。我无话可说。

真的很累，真想跑得远远的什么都不想管。

What will you do if i disappear?

Out of the blue, something came across my mind. What would happen if i suddenly disappear in this world?

Cherish.

Future is unpredictable. No one knows about his/her own future. Do cherish people that surrounding you with sincere heart.

一言难尽

现在的学院生活，一言难尽....

玩笑

有时，仅仅只是一个玩笑，可是它却默默地伤到了别人。

Not smart? I think so.

Mood totally down in the middle of the night. Things keep on running in my mind. Tears trickled down.

I am just a girl that has no confidence. I take things serious. I would mind about others' words about me. Course mate maybe just has a joke with me. However, I don't know why i take it so serious. Course mate just said that my friend is more clever than me. I don't know why I suddenly feel so down. May be she is saying the truth? I am not smart. Seriously, i know i am not a smart girl like my course mates do. I am just too stupid may be? In my last year final exam, i just trying so hard. What i can do i just study hard because i ain't smart like others do. Sigh. I just trying so hard..... Anyone know? I just trying so hard to don't let people think that i am stupid. Friends said before too that i am not smart. Mmmm, yea, maybe i should admit it.

Mmm. Course mate said that she really doesn't mean to hurt me. I think the problem is me myself. May be i should think of what my course mate said. May be i should admit that i just too stupid since so many people said that.

心情低落

有时会疑惑，勤真的能补拙？咳。。。

Sick and test tomorrow. T T

Sick like hell and i skipped the important class today. T T I got no choice to take MC rest at home.

All have taught today are going to be test by tomorrow. HOW? HOW? HOW? T T I surely fail that paper. Diuuuu. T T

GOD BLESS ME !

Turn to 18 year old soon.

Today would be the last day being 17 year old. Gonna turn to 18 after few hours. :)

I am here to wish myself Happy Birthday first. ;)

Scholarship interview.

Finally done with my scholarship interview. Huuuu~ Feel relief. However, don't really satisfy with my performance. Sigh :(

Hope that i can get the good news soon.

GOD BLESS ME !

Interview for scholarship. Nervousssss.

Just done the first internal test. Still got 3 tests to go for before the real 1. Mmm. Both papers passed. However one of them i got not really a good score. :( 

Tomorrow going to The Sun scholarship interview. O.O Feel so nervous right now. I might be not really good in speaking english and i need to speak to the interviewers even more worst ! T T Hope that tomorrow i can answer all the questions well. :((

GOD BLESS ME ! 

First test in college.

Arghh! My internal test going to start by next week ! GOSH !

So scare because this is the first test in college. O.O Although it's just a internal test, i still feel stress. :(

Finally, i got call from The Sun scholarship. The interview is on next Thursday. Mmm, never been to interview for anything before, first try. Hope that i can perform well on that day. >.<

GOD BLESS ME !

我怎么了？

有时听到家里的争吵真的觉得很烦。

我也不知道为什么，最近的脾气真的很不好，一点一点就很想发脾气。咳。。。是因为没有了倾诉的对象？把事情都憋在心里？我也不懂。

今年的我是怎么了？

Go back to study life.

My course had started about 1 month ago. Umm, it's really tough anyway. Sigh.

Everytime i did the homeworks have been given by lecturer, i feel so demotivated. So much mistakes after done. WHY?! I have try my best to do revision only then start to do the exercises, yet it seemed fail. :'(

I don't know what's wrong with me myself. WAKE UP WINNIE GOH ! *sigh* I should concentrate on my study, but i don't know why i can't do so.

WHY?! WHY?! WHY?! WAKE UP D WINNIE GOH PLEASE!!!! 

Bad luck.

Super bad luck today. Just BANG people car in the noon. X.X

My mind was totally blank.

Just feel like i'm really useless. Sigh. *How much i hope that i can have your comfort.* My legs was shivering on that time. I was like dragged to the hell on that time, in low spirit. No mood at all until now, even i still can feel the feeling.

Got scolded for sure. After my sista comes back from Singapore, confirm get scold again. Sigh.

Tomorrow will be the first day of my college life, yet my mood still can't recover to normal. HOW? *cry*

GOD BLESS ME !

SPM results.

Finally, after waiting for so long time, I got my result. I got 9A out of 10 subjects. I was so surprised ! The most unexpected result was my 1119 English paper. I got 2A for it !!! OMG ! THANKS GOD !

The day before the result was release, I can't really sleep well. I woke up sooooo early due to i was too nervous. >.<

The most disappointed me was when i told my sis about my result, she doesn't said anything good to me, but she just nag me about why I got B+ for my Chinese paper. She never know that in my class, there's only some of them got A, some still FAIL the paper. :( Sigh.

The awards were no longer as good as last time as well. Because my dad is going to pay for my college course fees. So, i just asked for a Ipod Touch and laptop. Maybe some Cash. Cause i can't work after i start my study. Although when i have semester break, there will be just 1 or 2 weeks, so impossible i can have part time job. Moreover, i scared i would not concentrate on my study if i get to work and study at the same time.

So much of my friends have their own array for further study. Of course there may be one or two still considering their pathway for study in future. For me, I have chosen CAT (Certified Accounting Technician) like what my sis did last time. The reason why i choose Accounting is because it's a stabil work. I hope to have a stabil life in the future. :)

My English preparatory class is going to end soon. After that will be one week break for us before our actual course get started. My college is a lil bit petty compared to those famous college like INTI or SEGI. But hope that the lecturers will be much better.

THANKS GOD and GOD BLESS ! :)

外公离开了我们。

刚刚办妥外公的丧事。:(

外公的离开，其实很不舍，可是我想了想。这对外公来说是一种解脱。

当在看外公最后一面的时候，我的眼泪真的忍不住地流了。脑海里都是外公以前和我开玩笑的画面。:'( 当遗体被送进焚化是，真的很不舍。咳.... 没想到外公就这样离开人世了。

希望外公在另一个世界里可以开心的和外婆在一起。:(

累。

我很累！身心疲累！咳....

可能你们会说，你才几岁，讲什么累。可是每天为这个担心，为那个烦恼，我真的累了。

妈妈总是在我面前讲家里没钱，这个那个。父母有没有想过在孩子面前说这些会让孩子有负面的想法？我有时会想，为什么我要来到这世上？

心里真的很烦。有时，看朋友没钱，可是却很幸福。有钱的也当然很幸福。有钱可能为必会幸福，可是起码他们都没什么好担心。

Imma just like a FOOL !

Sigh. I'm just like a fool now. I'm really sad when i see two of them together.

I still help her to choose valentine present for him. O.O When watch movie, I just sit behind them. Looking at them. Looking at my friends lay on his shoulder. How much i wish that i was the person that can hold his hand and lay on his shoulder. :'(

:'(

Sigh, my friend have accepted the confess of the guy. :'( I don't know how to react when she told me this. I just pretend like everything is good. Feel happy for her. :') *hurts*

一切只能怪我没有这个福气。

Hurt.

One of my friends told me that the guy that i like confessed to her. I was like......Don't know what to do, what to say. :x

It's hurt. However i just tried to calm myself, pretending like everything is alright. Indeed, it's hurt. But i can't believe i could still able to laugh and told my friend that i was really happy for her. X.X Can u imagine how the feeling is? Sigh. Seriously, my friend is such a nice girl and the guy is a nice guy. I would feel happy for her if she really accept the guy to be her bf. :')

After talking on the phone, i was having insomnia last night. :(

喜欢?

不知为什么每次看见他的面子书状态写说要生病了，我就会有一种很想照顾他的感觉。

看见那些他与他的前女友的照片，心里是多么的不舒服。

多希望在他身边的那人会是我，
多希望我可以在他生病的时候照顾他，
多希望可以和他一起度过快乐与悲伤的时刻。

如果这一切都是喜欢他的征兆，
那，
对，我就是喜欢上他了。

咳...